Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Why Guitars are Better than Women…



1- Guitars don’t get pregnant.
2- You can play your guitar any time of the month.
3- Guitars don’t have parents.
4- Guitars don’t whine… unless you want them to.
5- You can share your guitar with your friends.
6- Guitars don’t care how many other guitars you’ve played
7- Guitars don’t care how many other guitars you have.
8- Guitars don’t care if you look at other guitars.
9- Guitars don’t care if you buy guitar magazines.
10-You’ll never hear, “Surprise, you are going to proud father of a new guitar!” unless you go out to buy one yourself.
11- If your guitar is flat you can fix it.
12- Your guitar doesn’t care if you never listen to it.
13- Your guitar won’t care if you leave up the toilet seat.
14- You don’t have to be jealous of the guy who works on your guitar.
15- If you say bad things to your guitar, you don’t have to apologize before you play it again.
16- You can play your guitar as long as you want and it won’t get sore.
17- You can stop playing your guitar as soon as you want and it won’t get frustrated.
18- Your parents won’t remain in touch with your old guitar after you dump it.
19- Guitars don’t get headaches.
20- Guitars don’t insult you if you’re a bad player.
21- Your guitar never wants a night out with the other guitars.
22- Guitars don’t care if you’re late.
23- You don’t have to take a shower before you play your guitar.
24- If your guitar doesn’t look good you can refinish it or get new parts.
25- You can play your guitar the first time you meet it, without having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother.
26- The only protection you have to wear when playing your guitar is a decent thumb pick.
27- When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great time you had the last time you played your guitar.

...and those are just a few reasons i have had more guitars than girlfriends over the years...

and on that note, here are a few guitar-themed tunes, some pretty old, some very new, for ya'll to shimmy, shake and bake the day away (by way of yousendit for a week or 100 downloads, whichever goes first)...

prince - guitar
camper van beethoven - guitar hero
steve earle - guitar town
the shadows - guitar tango
radiohead - anybody can play guitar
carl perkins - guitar boogie
xtc - my brown guitar
eddie lang - blue guitars
spineshank - while my guitar gently weeps
lonnie johnson - guitar blues
the clash - jail guitar doors
tom jones - ten guitars
eddie bond - broke my guitar
frank zappa - my guitar wants to kill your momma (live)
johhny cash & june carter - long legged guitar pickin' man
ray stevens - guitarzan
cake - the guitar man

Labels: ,

6 Comments:

Blogger dickvandyke said...

Mmmm. But what about a cup of tea and a blow job on a Sunday morning?

4:58 PM CDT  
Blogger sleepybomb said...

mr van dyke,
you silly brit. that just goes to show that you have never owned a guitar... and that i have too many. altho, i do sometimes get the occasional wim wam on a just as an occasional tuesday morning, and when that happens, well i forget about the tea, (and lately the guitars don't carry as much weight either)...

8:49 PM CDT  
Blogger The Mad Stratter said...

sexy lookin' Tele you got there.

10:36 AM CDT  
Blogger dickvandyke said...

Ha! - I was hoping to illicit some response m.a. my dear chap.

You are dead right; I've never owned a guitar - although I did have a bizarre mouth organ incident once with a damp Catholic Venezuelan tart just outside Caracas.

By the way - there's no tele in that room. But then, with all those 'axes' (get me) cluttering up the place, there is little space for viewing Basil and Sybil Fawlty. (That may be a fridge however in the background - or simply an attractive corner unit with sturdy wooden plinth).

Sorry, I seem to have digressed from my original thrust, which was .. what kind of a euphemism is 'wim wam'? And why Tuesday morning? I think your adoring readers need to know - not to mention your lovely lady!

Thanks for calling me 'silly' by the way -ultimate compliment.

Keep that little chubby chin up.

Much respect and a glass of foaming ale.

3:36 PM CDT  
Blogger dickvandyke said...

Oh and you need to be aware of this too Sleepy ..

http://www.bbc.co.uk/electricproms/

particularly Ray Davies and Macca playing live.

(Ray has his 2nd solo album just out by the way).

Enjoy

2:37 PM CDT  
Blogger Tim said...

Ah, and what about Talking Heads' Electric Guitar?

Like the list. Did you make those up yourself? I think it would make a fine chain letter.

Peace,

Tim

10:35 PM CDT  

Post a Comment

<< Home

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Web Pages referring to this page
Link to this page and get a link back!

__________________________________________________________________

THE FINE PRINT!
all mp3s on this site are 128k or less, if ya want the good stuff, buy it, i did.
not responsible for any mp3 after a week or less, ya want it, lemme know, and ya got it.
and from portland to mighty portland,
all the names have been changed coz no one is innocent . . .
and, as groucho sez, 'whatever it is, i'm against it!'

© 2005-2009 wreckreation media group
® 2005-2009 wreckreation media group 


'goo goo ga joob!'

Powered by Blogger

Feed Shark
Turbo Tagger