it's my fuckin' christmas!

just to clear the air before this starts, i am a reformed catholic and unorthodox pagan, born of devout christians and believe in true christian values. as i grew up christmas time was all about getting things, giving things and spending time with friends and family, and oh yeah, being especially nice to everyone you meet. we didn't dwell on the jesus stuff too much, maybe at church on christmas morn, (or in catechism, which i liked because of the history aspect of the bible, not really the flashy uber-religious context), but not a whole lot as i remember. neither did my friends, family, classmates, or most people i'd meet on the street. we all knew what it meant and dealt with it in our own ways. we weren't overtly religious and recognized that maybe not everyone else had the same beliefs as we did. it was always just a real fun time of year, with everyone included... or at least that how i remember it.


but now what the fuck is wrong with these people, you know, the ones who are so afraid that their christmas is being assailed by an organized assault they scream and rant and rave like a child left coal in his stocking. this has been simmering for a while now, with the 'bill oh-reallys' yapping about 'the war on christmas' and how the left is trying to take all the crosses and commandments off of public lands and bullying stores about how they want them to appeal to their customers... and on and on and on...


i hate exclusiveness, have always avoided clubs, fraternities, orders, lodges, religions or anything that had 'us and them' stamped in the fine print, (or as groucho once said, 'i'd never join a club that would have me as a member'). i mean, it's ok if ya wanna go be a sheep, walk lock-step and follow the pack, as long as you keep to yourself and don't try to win me with hallow arguments as to why your club is better than the others, i won't subscribe to your religion. but now these right-wing nut-case evangelicals are downright scary. their attitude of 'it's my fucking christmas!' is outta control. what unmitigated gall of these people to try and tell me how to celebrate the season. it ain't even their holiday by rights, it really belongs to the pagans, (and we know what they think of those heretics). the winter solstice has been celebrated by cultures all over the world for eons before christ was supposedly born, (which, don't be shocked now, was not on dec. 25th).


now, i don't mean to be pissin' on nobody's holiday, but they started this crap. they want war, they got it. i am all for trashing everything; the obsession of the over-lighted tree, the constant inundation of inane songs sung by tone-deaf singers, the endless, boring, old slogans, the stupid movies and lame t.v. specials, the repetitive stream of crass commercialism and all it's sick pseudo-religious trimmings that truly make detestable what used to be a much more innocent season. this world is full of people who don't celebrate the holiday in the same fashion. still the christian militant fascist fanatics see any other view as a threat to their beliefs. so, they play victim, cry foul and worry themselves silly over whether its 'merry christmas' or 'happy holidays'. and what happens when each and every organized religion wants to put up their own version of the spirit of their holiday? is it a matter of might make right? that is how real wars start isn't it? no one wins in this silly debate. faith is for each person to celebrate in their soul, home or church and not to be crammed down the collective maw of everyone else... especially in the public square, or in government offices. this is not solely a christian country, it is a nation built by the hands of peoples of many beliefs. why can't we all just get along?... we should be better than this, you'd think.


'what would jesus do?' is a fond rallying cry, but a damned few so-called christians rarely do anything resembling the teachings christ. his was a message of tolerance and moderation, of love thy neighbor and helping one another get by... not having crusades for oil using the blood of the poor to finance it, greedy corporate christian wealth that neglects the unfortunate, and mall-sized christmas specials that breed cultural divisiveness. have yourself a merry little christmas is now moot, it's buy more, spend more and just do it my way and we will win this war with them that are different from us... get real, no one is gonna take christ out of christmas, you have that, just don't act like it is the only reason for the season... the reason's in your heart. i don't think the birthday boy would be proud of what it has become. it's just silly the way these people think, as if they do. one drive around the neighborhood here proves their so-called-spirit is alive and well in suburban new orleans, (s.a. says she has never seen so many houses decorated in her life, and i gotta admit it sure seems like the most to me also).

i just wish we could all get along, even if only for one stupid day...


...and if that wasn't bad enuff, the republi-cons are using faith as a major litmus test as to who is most qualified to run this country for them. i dunno know about you, but these last seven years, with a man who was hand-picked by these fruitcakes, is more than enuff. i nearly threw up spiked eggnog out of my nose when i saw huckabee's, (sounds like what you do when you swallow a flying insect), christmas message, (he is the savior flavor de jour for the 'us' guys). i tell ya, every american really needs to see this video, but not for the reasons they want... and you want this guy to be your latex salesman? i hope he is gonna be their next right-hand-of-god, he is truly just too good to believe. he thinks he is so close to heaven he'll probably try to fill his cabinet with the 12 apostles... (the guy just seems like a snake oil salesman to me; sweet talkin', smarmy and not to be trusted).

whew... i think i am thru here, i know i stepped on some toes with this holiday rant (i hope so at least), but my feet hurt already from all this bru-ha-ha, so let's just all try to get along this year, eh? we are doing our part, by enjoying the festivus thingy at home with our pole amongst friends and family, (we're still not checking faith credentials to get in, so come one, come all!), and celebrating the season like the drunken pagans we ought to be... bah humbug!


(here is the real subliminal message from the huck, and it's a lot scarier than 'paul is dead, paul is dead')



also, in the spirit of the stealin' of the over-hyped/priced holidays we offer these tidbits of mirth and detriment, in mp3, thru festivus at least, by way of yousendit:

the sonics - i don't belive in christmas
the damed - there ain't no santa claus
the kinks - father christmas
hanoi rocks - dead by christmas
venom - black christmas
tom waits - christmas card from a hooker in minneapolis
sparks - thank god it's not christmas
billy idol - yellin' at the christmas tree
the vandals - a gun for christmas
the refreshments - i can't have a merry christmas
sex pistols - punk rock christmas
the ramones - punk rock christmas
the black halos - homeless for christmas
danny elfman - kidnap the sandy claws

...to everyone everywhere, just hold true to what the season means to you!
and a happy merry celebrations to all...
now if ya'll excuse me i still got presents to wrap!