Wednesday, August 31, 2005

an open letter to george bush ...

sorry ya'll, things are kinda wrecked in the ol' room the last few. we have gotten to snapping and yapping at one another ... and the water is still rising in new orleans (but we are light years better in reno than what we are seeing).

this is so fuckin' heartbreaking, will this ever end? where is the help? we said this before, those people are being left to hang on the line! regardless of whether they should have left or not, something needs to be done ... before it's too late. and it is for too many. how long could you hang for, without anything? it is really a shame that these poor souls can't see all the moving tributes done for them on the main stream media, with pictures of people dying on the side of i-10 outside of metry interspersed with moving cuntry muzak and the stumbling words of our majesty giving yet another rousing speech of more hallow words and idle promises ... stay the fuckin' course. but i swear he said something about 'i feel your pain' in there, fuckin' disgusting ... almost threw up my mre!

now, i know i made a promise to not get political in here, but i need to vent ...

this is a national disgrace, wait, not just that, a global disgrace, and the problem is not just new orleans alone ... there are over a million people with no source of even fresh water to drink or a place to sleep, up and down the gulf coast. but it's new orleans that really needs to be addressed, yesterday. there are a few thousands that never heard the petty politician's hard-nosed speeches of '... strength and resolve, and we are doing our best, and help is on the way!' all of that is starting to sound very stupid, worn and so much like any machine that covers up it's short comings, ... yada yada yada, yaba dabba doo! and let's just wait for the death count ...

an open letter to the president ...

mr bush, you can't stop the pictures coming out of new orleans. this is much worse than baghdad. this is in america! this is our homeland ... where is our homeland security? (what an oxymoron!), where are OUR national guard, who enlist just for reasons like this, to help their neighbors in their time of need, even as they lose all their own ... they should not be killing iraqis, they should not be looking for fake w.m.d. or creating psuedo-democracies in the guise of imperialism for your fat-cat buddies.
where are our troops?

what if this was a terrorist attack on america? an a-bomb in new york, or d.c. ... is this the promise you made so that you could steal the white house again? ... to keep america safe? is america safe? i see a very unsafe city of almost a million in total meltdown, and it is just 3 FUCKIN' DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is america!
we are getting a quicker response from those countries that ignore your views, even france knows what is right when it comes to humanity ...

where is the help for your countrymen mr bush? are they not rich enough? are there not enough suv's buried in the florida beaches? will this catastrophe help jeb in '08? is this gonna help the polls you claim you don't pay attention to?

what the fuck are you gonna do? the economy you brag about is gonna fold, coz now no-one will ever wanna go back there to do business, and america's business flows thru new orleans. just watch the numbers that get really skewed real soon, and this is not gonna spin away. no matter how ya'll spin it. here is your legacy, enjoy.
too little, too late ... or as laura would probably say, 'same old george, just like his dad'.

oh yeah, and thanks for the fly-by big 'w', that photo op should sink you like new orleans ... but you stink a bit more.
p.s. you coulda at least brought some bottled water ...
uh, mr bush ... mr bush?
damn, asleep again ...
shhh ...

new orleans disaster info

some info for displaced residents of the greater new orleans area:
for instant info and forums to look for those that are missing
constantly streaming their newscast from baton rouge for breaking news and video from new orleans

how is metry doing?

Emergency contact / disaster relief information
American Red Cross
Disaster Helpline

How to donate to help the victims of Hurricane Katrina

Call to Apply for Assistance 1-800-621-FEMA (3362). The speech or hearing impaired may call (TTY) 1-800-462-7585. You may also register online.

National Response Center

State Police Road Closure Hotline:

Shelter Information:
Red Cross- 1(866)-GET-INFO (438-4636)
Special-Needs Shelter Information
Triage Phone Numbers:
Alexandria: 800-841-5778 Shreveport: 800-841-5776
Baton Rouge: 800-349-1372 Monroe: 866-280-7287
Houma/Thibodaux: 800-228-9409 Slidell/Hammond: 866-280-7724
Lafayette: 800-901-3210 Lake Charles: 866-280-2711

Equine Shelter/Evacuation Site Information
Locations for Animal Evacuation:
Alexandria - Large & Small 318-442-4222 (all vet clinics will accept)
Lamar Dixon - Gonzales - Large Animals
Shreveport - LSU-S (pets only, no livestock)
West Monroe - Ike Hamilton Coliseum

Emergency Shelter Information Points:
Tourist Welcome Center, US 65 & 84, 1401 Carter St. (US 84), Vidalia, LA
Tourist Welcome Center, TA Truck Stop, Tallulah Exit (Hwy 65 & I 20)
Paragon Casino, 711 Paragon Place, Marksville LA
Sammy's Truck Stop, I-49, Exit 53, 3601 LA 115W, Bunkie, LA
Med Express Office, 7525 US 71, Alexandria, LA
P.E. Gym, LSU- Shreveport, One University Place, Shreveport, LA
Pickering High School, 180 Lebleu Rd., Leesville, LA
Mowad Civic Center, 5th & 10th St., 1 Block off US 165, Oakdale, LA

good luck and godspeed to everybody (where-ever you are now), our hearts and minds are with ya'll, (til we get there and get our hands dirty fixin' things back up too)...
but for now we do have room for a few more refugees, if you can make it out here.
... i'll put a lamp in the window just in case.


for now, turn out the lights, the party's over.

'...don't worry, your food, housing, insecurity, will be guaranteed by your department of redundancy department and the natural guard ...and remembers, trust-repers will be persecuted, so please stay where you are, don't move, and don't panic. don't take off your shoes! jobs is on the way ... thank you.'
(principal poop of morescience high school)

i am so heartsick. i have never felt anything this devastating in all my life.
i am so glad all my familia and friends, (as far as i know), are out of the hell-hole that new orleans has become in the last few days.

new orleans is in crisis and it is as bad as anything that has ever happened to this nation since world war 2. it's much bigger than 9-11, (no terrorist could pull this off so don't start that) ... almost a third of the nation's gas supply is either going thru or being produced in the area, not to mention the amount of goods in and out of the port in general. this is no twin towers. this is a thousand towers. this is one of the most important cities in the world crippled in one blow, like no other city in american history has witnessed. the jonestown flood is a footnote, the san fransisco quake a minor event, and i am not saying that from pride of living there is in knowing just how much was there, that is no more. . .

and over a million americans living in new orleans alone are now homeless.

didn't they see this coming?
... it is going to be a very scary and nasty night in the big easy. i am sure you've seen the news. there are quite a few souls left that have very few options at this hour ... those that had/were able to leave and didn't have any excuse for being there, but are, the sick and ederly who couldn't/wouldn't leave, people left hanging because the airlines copped out helping tourist evacuate and the wonderful humans, who are going without everything like the rest, saving others ... and all the people left to ferment in the superdome, all of them stuck in that bowl ...
while the looting and lawlessness from desperation gets as thick as the humidity.
it's gonna be a long night in new orleans and we'll be lucky if the city isn't burned into the swamp by dawn.

didn't they see this coming?
so, where is the national guard? where is the force of help waiting at the perimiter to rush in supplies as soon as the storm passed? where is all the international help that was sent to 7 russians in a sub a few weeks ago? this is so surreal, people killing themselves in the dome, the city is like bandah ache meets the old west under water. this was a tragic, if not the most devastating day in the history of the easy and no one is there but a few helicopters. you see huge copters grabbing workers from the gulf or blackhawks flying life saving missions in the deserts over babylon, but not over the roofs of the lower 9th ward.

maybe it's payback for having mardi-gras, or having a large gay community and artists and a bit more freedom than the rest of the country, who usually love to fly down to the easy to get all loose and wild for a weekend...
we miss the big one and a day later the city is in chaos. no food being rushed in, no law and order, no nothing ... like they didn't see this coming?
(i wonder if 'w' is gonna scoot in, disrupt the rescue effort and hand out water bottles to the looters with his brother jeb, oops ... wrong state, and he's a lame duck also, no photo op there.)

for years we were led to believe by our leaders that the city was prepared, 'well...we did this study or that study, we know how to handle it ... if and when ...'. they weren't prepared and now aren't/won't get help to those stranded.
if this was an iraqi insurgency there would be 1500 troops around the dome in a baghdad minute.

there was no plan, we were duped. the pumps failed, the levees failed and the leaders failed.
it is a city that will never be the same in our lifetime, well, really never. but it coulda been handled better, now there will always be a bitter taste about this, nothing heroic, just base animal survival. like a rat in a corner while the captain left the ship ...
but the easy will be back, we'll figure out what the fuck went wrong and try it again. make the levees higher and stronger, lock ourselves in our bowl and prey upon each other as the tide comes in. humans are silly that way, as long as we think living where we do is worth it.
just ask the people of the coast who are blasted away tonite also, but there the animal has not risen yet, in new orleans the water is rising. they'll re-do just as we all do. it's what we humans do ... but they'll do it faster, they already have roads back.

i really don't know what anyone of us is gonna do right now or ever, (my family is really stuck in limbo, no place to go, everything gone, businesses, many lifetimes of shit, i just can't imagine ... how many people. this is not an area but a complete city! generations are affected, it is mindblowing)

the shock is beginning to settle, and i am not good at those step programs, but i think it's anger filling the void ...
how long before complacency comes back?

i am done here, i dunno if i feel like doing much of anything for a long while ... and we're the lucky ones. we still have our house in reno (tho the one in metry is prob toast), with all our shit and we are very high and dry...
and i have never felt so guilty in my life.

(and we're still moving back, by the way ... after we rebuild too.)
guess we'll see ya'll later ....

p.s. i'd post all the places to donate but you know where to look, and please do!

god save the easy and the last one out, please turn off the pumps.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

here she comes ...

(so we're chanting to the god of right turns tonite ...)

and then randy sums up the aftermath .... louisiana 1927 (2005?)

'ladies and gentlemen, this is not a test ... '

now pay attention:
hurricanes are known as 'typhoons' in the western pacific, 'cyclones' in the indian ocean, 'baguios' in the philippines and 'willy-willies' in australia.

highest storm surge - bathurst bay hurricane, australia, 1899. it was 13 meters (42 feet)!

deadliest - bangladesh cyclone of 1970. it killed 300,000 people.
- the deadliest hurricane in the united states struck galveston, texas, in 1900. a storm surge almost two stories high broke over the city, causing 20-foot (6.1-meter) floods and more than 8,000 deaths.

largest rainfall - cyclone denise, jan. 1966, 12 hours, 1144 millimeters - la reunion island in the indian ocean off the east coast of africa.

costliest - hurricane andrew in aug. 1992. the damage was estimated at $25 billion in parts of florida, louisiana, and georgia.

longest lasting - cyclone/typhoon john, aug.-sep., 1994, lasted 31 days. traveleing both the Northeast and Northwest Pacific basins.

largest - typhoon tip, northwest pacific, Oct., 1979, with a gale radius 1100 km..

fastest intensification - typhoon forrest deepened 100 millibars (976 to 876) in under 24 hours. in one day winds increased from 120 kph to 277 kph........

... we hope everybody gets the hell outta metry for katrina. she is big, bad and looks real pissed. we said it before, but the big easy has gotten off the hook for a long time. now it seems there's a good chance this broad's gonna fuck up the city a bit if she get's too close. it really is frustrating to be sitting up here in reno while friends, family and property, (which we have yet to occupy), are sitting in the crosshairs of this ex-wife-kinda-hurricane bitch, (ya know the kind, no direction, with an attitude, looking to kick somebody's ass and you just happen to be the one in the way).

well, my clan is heading in a caravan to my cousin's in arkansas in the morning so at least i know they'll be alright, but to just watch it go down with no control over anything is dreadful. and if the gods of drunkards and all things yat are smiling, katrina will catch a wave moving away from fat city. i don't wish others the horrid luck to fall in the path, i just want her to die wandering aimlessly in the gulf. fat chance of that tho, somebody's gonna get it.

... so s.a. and i are having a mini-mock hurricane party, wishing we were drinking anything but hurricanes in the quarter and toasting to dry ground and high hopes.

katrina is out there, lurkin' a ways off, and not predicted for landfall until sometime monday, thereabouts, but i got a bad feeling about this ...

(a few tunes we're playing that i'm sure they're not singin' down there ...)
the tragically hip - new orleans is sinking
t-bone walker - call it stormy monday
the scorpions - rock you like a hurricane
bob dylan - shelter from the storm
neil young - like a hurricane
katrina and the waves - i'm walking on sunshine
(mp3s via yousendit)

... as i finish this up they just told everybody in new orleans to get the fuck out .... she just got up to a '4'!!!!
uh-oh, (gulp) ... good luck ya'll ...

Friday, August 26, 2005

86 rules to live by ...

The 86 Rules of Boozing

1. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar;
preferably during happy hour.

2. Always toast before doing a shot.

3. Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast.

4. Change your toast at least once a month.

5. Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake.

6. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her
drinks is dumb.

7. Never borrow more than one cigarette from the same person in one

8. When the bartender is slammed, resist the powerful urge to order
a slightly-dirty, very-dry, in-and-out, super-chilled half-and-half
martini with a lemon twist. Limit orders to beer, straight shots and
two-part cocktails.

9. Get the bartender's attention with eye contact and a smile.

10. Do not make eye contact with the bartender if you do not want a

11. Unacceptable things to say after doing a shot: "Great, now I'm
going to get drunk!" "I hate shots!" "Oops, it's coming back up!"

12. Never, ever tell a bartender he made your drink too strong.

13. If he makes it too weak, order a double next time. He'll get the

14. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does
not like you.

15. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still
might not like you.

16. If she buys you a drink, she likes you.

17. If someone offers to buy you a drink, do not upgrade your liquor

18. Always have a corkscrew in your house.

19. If you don't have a corkscrew, push the cork down into the
bottle with a pen.

20. Drink one girly drink in public and you will forever be known as
the guy who drinks girly drinks.

21. Our parents were better drinkers than we are.

22. Never talk to someone in the restroom unless you're doing the
same thing-urinating, waiting in line or washing your hands.

23. Girls hang out, apply make-up, and have long talks in the
bathroom. Men do not.

24. After your sixth drink, do not look at yourself in the mirror.
It will shake your confidence.

25. It is only permissible to shout 'woo-hoo!' if you are doing a
shot with four or more people.

26. If there is a d.j., you can request a song only once per night.
If he doesn't play it within half an hour, do not approach him
again. If he does play it, do not approach him again.

27. Learn how to make a rose out of a bar napkin. You'll be
surprised how well it works.

28. If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to drink in a bar.
Go to the liquor store.

29. If you owe someone twenty dollars or less, you may pay them back
in beer.

30. Never complain about the quality or brand of a free drink.

31. If you have been roommates with someone more than six months,
you may drink all their beer, even if it's hidden, as long as you
leave them one.

32. You can have a shot of their hard liquor only if the cap has
been cracked and the bottle goes for less than $25.

33. The only thing that tastes better than free liquor is stolen

34. If you bring Old Milwaukee to a party, you must drink at least
two cans before you start drinking the imported beer in the fridge.

35. Learn to appreciate hangovers. If it was all good times every
jackass would be doing it.

36. If you ever feel depressed, get out a bartender's guide and
browse through all the drinks you've never tried.

37. Try one new drink each week.

38. If you are the bar's sole customer, you are obliged to make
small talk with the bartender until he stops acknowledging you. Then
you're off the hook. The same goes for him.

39. Never tip with coins that have touched you. If your change is
$1.50, you can tell the barmaid to keep the change, but once she has
handed it to you, you cannot give it back. To a bartender or
cocktail waitress, small change has no value.

40. If you have ever told a bartender, "Hey, it all spends the
same," then you are a cheap ass.

41. Anyone on stage or behind a bar is fifty percent better looking.

42. You can tell how hard a drinker someone is by how close they
keep their drink to their mouth.

43. A bar is a college, not a nursery. If you spill a beer, clean it
up. If you break a glass, wait for a staff member to clean it up,
than blame it on someone else.

44. Being drunk is feeling sophisticated without being able to say

45. Its okay to drink alone.

46. After three drinks, you will forget a woman's name two seconds
after she tells you. The rest of the night you will call her "baby"
or "darling."

47. Nothing screams 'faggot' louder than swirling an oversized
brandy snifter.

48. Men don't drink from straws; unless you're doing a Mind or Face

49. If you do a shot, finish it. If you don't plan to finish it,
don't accept it.

50. Never brood in a dance bar. Never dance in a dive bar.

51. Never play more than three songs by the same artist in a row.

52. Your songs will come on as you're leaving the bar.

53. Never yell out jukebox selections to someone you don't know.

54. Never lie in a bar. You may, however, grossly exaggerate and

55. If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are
slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are
not speaking English.

56. Screaming, "Someone buy me a drink!" has never worked.

57. For every drink, there is a five percent better chance you will
get in a fight. There is also a three percent better chance you will
lose the fight.

58. Fighting an extremely drunk person when you are sober is

59. If you are broke and a friend is "sporting you," you must laugh
at all his jokes and play wingman when he makes his move.

60. If you are broke and a friend is "making sport of you," you may
steal any drink he leaves unattended.

61. Never rest your head on a table or bar top. It is the equivalent
of voluntarily putting your head on a chopping block.

62. If you are trading rounds with a friend and he asks if you're
ready for another, always say yes. Once you fall out of sync you
will end up buying more drinks than him.

63. If you're going to hit on a member of the bar staff, make sure
you tip well before and after, regardless of her response.

64. The people with the most money are rarely the best tippers.

65. Before you die, single-handedly make one decent martini.

66. Asking a bartender what beers are on tap when the handles are
right in front of you is the equivalent of saying, "I'm an idiot."

67. Never ask a bartender "what's good tonight?" They do not fly in
the scotch fresh from the coast every morning.

68. If there is a line for drinks, get your goddamn drink and step
the hell away from the bar.

69. If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours.

70. The patrons at your local bar are your extended family, your
fathers and mothers, your brothers and sisters. Except you get to
sleep with these sisters. And if you're really drunk, the mothers.

71. It's acceptable, traditional in fact, to disappear during a
night of hard drinking. You will appear mysterious and your friends
will understand. If they even notice.

72. Never argue your tab at the end of the night. Remember, you're
hammered and they're sober. It's akin to a precocious five-year-old
arguing the super-string theory with a physicist. 99.9% of the time
you're wrong and either way you're going to come off as a jackass.

73. If you bring booze to a party, you must drink it or leave it.

74. If you hesitate more than three seconds after the bartender
looks at you, you do not deserve a drink.

75. Beer makes you mellow, champagne makes you silly, wine makes you
dramatic, tequila makes you felonious.

76. The greatest thing a drunkard can do is buy a round of drinks
for a packed bar.

77. Never preface a conversation with a bartender with "I know this
is going to be a hassle, but..."

78. When you're in a bar and drunk, your boss is just another guy
begging for a fat lip. Unless he's buying.

79. If you are 86'd, do not return for at least three months. To
come back sooner makes it appear no other bar wants you.

80. Anyone with three or more drinks in his hands has the right of

81. If you're going to drink on the job, drink vodka. It's the no-
tell liquor.

82. There's nothing wrong with drinking before noon. Especially if
you're supposed to be at work.

83. The bar clock moves twice as fast from midnight to last call.

84. A flask engraved with a personal message is one of the best
gifts you can ever give. And make sure there's something in it.

85. On the intimacy scale, sharing a quiet drink is between a
handshake and a kiss.

86. You will forget every one of these rules by your fifth drink.
... so, belly-up to the bar boys and let's sing some drinkin' songs!
the kinks - alcohol
ray charles - let's go get stoned
thelonious monk - straight, no chaser
van morrison - moonshine whiskey
louis jordan - what's the use of getting sober (when you're gonna get drunk again)
bob dylan - rainy day women #12 & 35
tony tribe - red, red wine

(thanks to leo the wop for the somewhat sobering reminder)

Thursday, August 25, 2005

owsley by owsley

whilst perusing the pop music section a few years ago i stumbled upon a review of the first 'owsley' record. i listened to a few of the samples, proceeded to plonk down the needed funds then waited patiently for the mailman. i don't think i have ever been luckier taking a shot on something i had never heard. the album is a blast, from the crunching guitars opening 'oh no the radio' the record flows like a powerpop powerhouse. the smart, precise beatlesque songwriting, the semi-lush-demo-like production (which earned the cd a grammy nod in '99 for its brilliant sound), bang on harmonies; the whole thing reeks of some lost powerpop l.p. from the 70's. hints of big star, cheap trick, todd rundgren, jellyfish and the db's litter the disc. and the cover is also wonderful, the shot of an aspiring pete townsend wanna-be jumping at least 5 feet in the air, barefoot, legs splayed and arms flailing the guitar. it sums up the energy and feel of what you are about to hear.

it seems the guy will owsley, whom the band is named for, is quite interesting as well. he is a relative of the infamous owsley stanley, (the maker of acid for most of the '60s west coast rock-n-roll scene and immortilized in the steely dan song, 'kid charlemange'), was in a band called the semantics, which also boasted a drummer(?) named ben folds, (the one and only semantics cd 'powerbill' was ditched by geffen records in '93 just days before release and later born again, briefly, in japan. it is one of the hardest records i have ever tried to aquire), and he also played guitar for shania twain and amy grant for awhile, (don't let that put you off tho, owsley is anything but what that shite is).

the second cd, 'the hard way', isn't as snappy as 'owsley', but it's a very good pop record, very much a mature sound compared to the debut, just not as good overall in a pop way.
'owsley' still takes up a great deal of time in the player at work, at home and at play, (s.a. will leave this on repeat in her car for days at a time).
as usual, like most of the shit i love, this is out-of-print now, altho it can still be had, used, on for only $2.50, and what a fuckin' bargain it is too!

and a few pieces of pop bric-a-brac from the 'owsley' debut in mp3 (via yousendit):
oh no the radio
coming up roses
i'm alright

now go buy owsley!

Friday, August 19, 2005

'i smiled like herbert hoover when they played ...'

during the '70s, we, (a.g., me and whoever else), hung around this record shop on magazine street called 'jim russell's record stop'. jim russell was a very strange guy. he was selling promo copies of all the latest lp's for 2 bucks a shot, (which was like having a sorta napster for vinyl ... it says on the sticker, 'promo - not for sale', dunno how he got away with it but i am glad he did). he always kept his front door bolted shut and only let in familiar faces, (it was not a very good part of town at that time, and he was robbed a few times), but the store was a treasure trove of music. it looked like and smelled like a warehouse of vinyl. yep, quite a funny guy, he would follow us around telling all these tall tales about his part in the shaping of rock and roll and claimed to have started everyone's career in music, from elvis and the beatles to my dad's band, the dukes of dixieland, (we busted him on the last claim, bigtime). the store was quite famous with acts that blew thru new orleans in the 70s, attracting even bruce springsteen, who was said to be quite confused after meeting mr. russell. stuff like that got the store quite a lot of mentions in rags like 'creem', 'crawdaddy' and 'rolling stone' . ol' jim is quite a character.

we would spend whole weekends digging thru the miles and miles of vinyl he had amassed. aquiring lp's was very easy at $2 apiece, i'd grab anything that looked good, had a funny name or had something to do with somebody else. finding such gems as jade warrior, van der graff generator, flash and roxy music, just becoz the cover was so weird, and such was the case with the 'halfnelson' lp. i saw that it was produced by todd rundgren, engineered by james lowe and that was good enuff for me, and the fact that the cover was so cool. i knew nothing about the band other than they looked strange and sounded even stranger, even by '71 standards. less than a year after the album came out the band would change their moniker to 'sparks' and re-release the lp, (with a silly faux-brick cover replacing the witty 'girl in the backseat' photo). the music was so different from anything else that was out in 1971, and it still is. the mock bubble-gum of 'wonder girl', the hint of incest in the'fa la fa lee', (..'she ain't heavy, she's a brother to me ...), the punkish 'mr. nice guy', the lush sound of 'fletcher honorama' and the rocking vaudeville feel on 'big bands'.

'sparks' went on to reach a huge cult status over the years, (mainly in europe), with an ever changing cast of players revolving around the mael brothers, (russell of the quirky, soaring, operatic vocals and ron, who writes some of the most disturbingly funny songs while looking like a robotic nightmare of charlie chaplin). they also have some of the funniest titles ever on pop records, like 'kimono my house', 'thank god it's not christmas', 'angst in my pants', 'falling in love with myself again' and the brit-hit 'this town ain't big enough for the both of us'.
'sparks' have quite a catalouge now, but the halfnelson lp is still the wittiest, diverse and creative record they ever made. and, of course, it is not available on cd, and neither is their 2nd lp, 'a woofer in tweeter's clothing', which is a bit heavier and darker than it's predecessor, but every bit as whimsical and ahead of it's time. i dunno why i love bands in the early years, but for me the 1st 4 albums by sparks were the best.

and now for some of the awesomely great, hard-to-come-by 'halfnelson' lp in mp3 (via yousendit):

wonder girl
(no more) mr. nice guy
big bands
fletcher honorama
fa la fa lee

(as usual, anyone that wants the whole lp, gimme a buzz ...)

Thursday, August 18, 2005

go saints!

they're looking good. those bayou boys ripped the world champion new england patriots 37-27. what a wonderful feeling. . . if only it counted! no matter, the pats looked like a bunch of spoiled brats being spanked, trying every dirty trick to make it not so. they were pathetic, yanking players off the goal-line after a saints score, got nailed on numerous bonehead calls towards the end and all around were taken to task by the lowly boys from the big easy, who held their ground and mustered out a win that will have people partying in the french quarter all night. too bad it doesn't count ...
i thought ol' bili and tom brady were gonna start a group cry, priceless ... it may not carry us to the superbowl, but we spanked those guys from boston.
i'm gonna sleep like an angel tonite! (who cares if it is just the pre-season, we beat the world champs! ... at home, no less. and they hate to lose, oh well!)

that's it, altho i wish i was in the quarter tonite . . . sorry i gotta laff, muahahahahaha, what a laffing-fun time it was!
go saints!

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

no, comrade, take my kelvar!

things just get stranger and weirder ...

christopher walken throws his hat in the ring.

anne coulter takes it up the wazoo.

bid to be a zombie forever!

fiona's extrodinary redemption.

and some fun stuff (via yousendit):

fatboy slim (feat. christopher walken) - weapon of choice (wmv file)

fiona apple - extrodinary machine (pre-epic mix) (mp3)

p.s. the fiona record is priceless, as taken off the web. i hope they didn't screw it all to hell trying to make more user friendly on the cd. i am just praising winmx that i got it all before sony trashed it, (supposedly, since all but 2 cuts were re-recorded.... we'll see.)
oh, and walken has our vote!

Monday, August 15, 2005

my stupid monday

i have nothing to say, other than i was a real bonehead all day...
i took s.a. to work this morning thinking i had a doctors visit this after, (kimmy's still has my lil red truck. last week someone even stole my nine inch nails and nothing records stickers off the back window while she was at work. the stickers were all beat up and sun wrecked, some silly punk fools i'm sure. i still have a stack of the nothing stickers and the nin only cost a few bucks. they'll go on the new improved big red truck!).

anyways, i drop s.a. off, come home, and start to make mac and cheese for breakfast, (mmmmm!), while playing with a new acid tune ... not a good idea.
i just get completely consumed in acid, the 'fones on, turned up, ripping and cutting loops, pasting and tweaking, all focused into the now. but i really need to not do that when i am alone with pasta on the stove. by the time i realized it the alarm was blaring and a heavy, smokey odor of burnt macaroni was wafting into the wreckroom... needless to say there was a much cheesier batch the next time, (don't tell s.a. . . . . oops, she'll know when she reads this).

then i go to the docs . . . i walk in, like i always do, as if i own the place, sashay up to the counter and proclaim, 'i am here for my 3:30'. the girl on the phone looks at me, shrugs, turns to her computer. she glances back up and says, 'you're early'. i look at my watch, 3:34. 'no, actually i am a little late', i smirk. then she glares at me, 'no, you're REALLY early. your appointment is next month'. she goes back to her call. i turned and walked out, my tail between and the door shut to sound of the staff in giggles ... well, like mom said, always leave them laffing . . .
so, that was my monday, and other than the usual physical impediments it wasn't real bad. . . i found dylan's 'don't look back' on dvd for 14 bucks at best buy and my blog buddy 'nostra', in denver, sent a very cool cd of various bullshit to the wreckroom for the ride to new orleans, (thanks so much k-man!) ... plus i got a new ditty to keep me off the streets for awhile.

so, here is the song i was burning pasta to, very new, under-cooked, (unlike the pasta), and i dunno, stupid, in an acid-kinda way. i may keep on working it, or not ... if i do i'll post as i go. lemme know whatcha think . . .

(dumped on yousendit)
the metry wrecks - a party (first drink mix)

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

various strawberries forever

i was 11 the first time i heard 'strawberry fields forever'. it was almost springtime in vegas and i was a virgin to most things rock, (tho i did love the beatles and not the monkees). i used to hang with my friend, doug, all the time. his dad worked on satellites for the military industrial complex and his supermom was a teacher and listened to pop radio while cleaning the house on weekends. doug was like some kinda mad child genius, always making liquid oxygen or some other vile substance and storing it in their freezer for future use, (we would spend hours in the hot desert shooting off these rockets he built. he always carried a shit-load of notebooks and would spend hours making these odd hieroglyphic-like symbols surrounding de vinci type drawings of devises better left alone by the hands of man. i often wonder whose nuclear/plasma power/laser program he is working on now).

it was a saturday morning, we were in the back room cooking up his latest concoction and his mom was doing the house up all suzy-homemaker-like with the radio blaring out the top 40 hits, (for the life of me i can't remember the vegas rock station's call letters, it was just some innoculous southern nevada a.m. station during the 60's).
then a song came on and filled the house with this incredible sound, permeating the walls and cutting thru the chemical stench. the sound from the tiny radio in the kitchen grew fat and thick as the song built in its majesty. the simple flute-like mellotron and dreaming vocals in the beginning verse, then the strings, punching and swirling, building into a stampede while being chased by tribal drums ... and then the horns chime in, all shiny and prancy, cascading around the maelstrom. the guitar kicks in for the false ending ... then the bitch turns the radio off. i heard her cry out, 'that's not my beatles!', and ranting something about 'rubber soul' and '. . . hold your hand'. i made excuses and split to my house across the street. i ran into my wreckroom, turned on my little box radio and duly waited the usual top-40-hour to hear the song again. it came back on, with big fanfare from the d.j., and by the end of it my life had changed. i had a purpose, a reason ... to accumulate as much of this sound as was humanly possible. it was sandwiched in between alot of motown tunes and pre-psychedlica garage band stuff, but that music seemed a lifetime away... it was my born the first time again experience. after that day, thru today, i have never stopped looking for that initial rush, kinda like a crack addict i guess, or sex addict, it is never as good as the first time ...

anyways, i have been working on this idea for awhile, to compile all the cover versions of 'strawberry fields forever' that exist, (or that i can find).
i found all the demos and outtakes of the beatles 'strawberry' tapes long ago, and to hear the song from germ to infection to complete plauge is beautiful. it took the wonderful internet to find all the demos and takes, and ebay supplied the bootleg cd.
over the years i have found an abundant amount of the wierdest versions of the song by sneaking around, hunting and pecking, looking high and low. some may think it a daunting task, but i just laff at their lack of feverish drive to achive the mundane. ha!
...well, it is just a bit daunting, (just how many people tried to pull it off anyways, i sure don't know), and trying to cop all these oddities by hook or crook can be time-consuming. but as with almost anything else there are a few gems in the dredge. i am up to 30 different artist's take on it. some versions are not too bad, like 'candy flip', 'xtc', 'todd rundgren', 'peter gabriel' or 'ben harper's' renditions, while a few are just weird and silly like a few whiny sounding a capellas by 'the swingle singers', 'king's singers' and 'the real group', 'zappa's' twisted take on it in oslo 1988, 'the runaways' doing it not at all punk, some nashville session players doing a bizarre bluegrass version from 'pickin' on the beatles' or 'fatboy slim's' feverish remix.
but as i say, there are some really good versions; 'tommorow's' crunchy, rocking, very 'move'-like 1968 cop on the classic, 'me first and the gimme gimmes' wild, sloppy and dead-on bar-mitzva attempt, 'los fabulosos caddilacs' excellent ska vision featuring deborah harry and 'laurence juber's' delicious acoustic rendition . . .
i keep looking, (i know there is a miles davis take on this i may have to buy), but i seem to be running out of sources, if anyone knows of a version that i need to finish my mission, please reply.

... here's some mp3s of the tastiest strawberries i've found (via yousendit):

me first and the gimme gimmes

tomorrow ('yes' man steve howe's first band)

los fabulosos caddilac (feat. deborah harry)

laurence juber

john's 'it's not too bad'

Friday, August 05, 2005

none of the regular rules were true...

trip shakespeare was one of those bands that you stumble upon without looking for and then it's like finding a hidden treasure you wanna share with the world ... but no one would listen.

they blew into my life, outta minneapolis, onto a stage in uptown new orleans during a muggy, rainy night in the summer of '89.
my buddy, glennski, (bless him), had talked me into buying the 'are you shakesperienced' cd a year before, (it wasn't too hard), and i had fallen for the quirky, operatic vocals, the delicious melodies and odd, twirling music that sounded like no other sound around. the album cover gave no hint as to who the band really were, like a dippy long-winded fictitious bio or group photos in a petting zoo, (i just love it when they leave ya hangin' out in the breeze like that). the album was just this amazing sound done by a band from the city of twins.
i don't remember much from the night, (like who else was on the bill, we just went to see the trips), but i remember the show. . .
the house was 1/2 full, the lights were blue, my eyes were red and we were at the bar waiting for drinks. when the band came on and started in on 'pearle' i stumbled, delicately, towards the stage, (a full drink ya know), and saw the drummer standing up. and it was a chick! we were floored, ('specially glennski, who was my drummer and needed to sit just to piss), she stood up the whole show. the songs were great, the band was flawless, and i never got to see them again. . .

the next two lp's were the best of the stuff they recorded over their short, silly, bizarre career. i later found out they were all displaced college grads thrown together by the love of music. which lends itself to the beauty of the records they made, smart, thoughtful, diverse, precise, catchy and edgy.
after a few ignored records on a twin-tone records subsiduary, (with shakesperienced getting some nods), they signed to a&m records for 1990's 'across the universe', which was a big move toward stardom. funny how that shit works . . .
but it was the next record that sealed it for me.

i was lost, seeking emotional shelter, a recent recipient of a truly broken heart in the funniest fashion.
and then i found 'lulu' . . . it started with the line 'none of the regular rules were true', how true.
there is a story line running thru the album, still, i haven't quite nailed it yet. but repitition is paying off. it is the story of heartache , heartbreak and redemption. i think. i really don't care. its songs about watching husker du, selling ice cream, stealing dad's bonneville and moving out the ex's belongings . . .the album is a gem. it ranks up there with anything in my not-so-vast and incomplete collection. if i could give you any trip-shakespeare-loaded advise, it is this. . . get it before it is gone like the rest of the out-of-print cd's, (i think this is only one available anymore, and that may be a lie ... a used copy of 'shakesperienced' on amazon is asking as low as $52! i cringe to think i'd missed it the 1st time, now that i know).

ok, now go find 'em . . . the remnants of the trips are now a few bands, semisonic, (with the seminal 90's hit 'closing time'), and the flops, (a band that also deserves a listen). .. .

here's some mp3 tease, some hard to find trip shit, and it goes deeper than this . . . (you know the deal)

toolmaster of brainerd (live)
(i have no idea where this ver is from, (it is well obsessed by fans of the like mind). i wish i was there at the time, and this is how i remember them ... a song about wild mineral mining, milking cows then getting white lung, some drunken-club-fun, a lil guitar mastery and rock-n-roll . . . all in 10 minutes!)

snow days (from 'across the universe')

patricia (from 'lulu')

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

'let's watch some rock on the idiot box!'

rockin' dvd's

jeesh, it's been a week? this post has taken that long to get up and going. it's been that kinda week . . .
since s.a. is laid up and layed out we have spent the greater part of this downtime wearing out the dvd player. anything and everything, movies and music viddys, rentals and backlog stuff, (goddamn wal-mart bargain bin), we watch it all. not that we ever watch regular tv at all anyways, other than news, the history channel and all the movie spots, it seems like t.v. really is a vast wasteland, now more than ever. so it is really great to have a substantial library to pick something that hasn't been viewed in awhile or been seen enuff. we're diggin' 'napolean dynamite' right now 'cos it falls in the latter catagory and we always love movies where the loser prevails. and 'cos it is just so damn funny . . .
when shopping we usually buy every music dvd we can find that we don't have, within reason, and lately have amassed quite a few great concert dvds.
here are a few of the goodies:

t.rex - born to boogie: this has finally made it to dvd, and it was worth the wait. ringo directed this semi-concert movie at the height of british t.rex-tasy in 1972, when all of england was abuzz about marc bolan. besides the restored movie, the extras include a making of documentary featuring marc's son, rolan bolan, interviewing all the parties guilty for the movie. it also contains both concert shows in entirety from march 18th, 1972 at wembley. it's a very heady package indeed.

the movie itself is a strange concoction of concert footage, fellini like surrealism, (ringo driving a car in a rat costume, while bolan babbles incoherently next to him), mtv-style segments, (a very good clip of 'children of the revolution', with ringo on drums and sir elton, doing his best dead-on jerry lee, playing pianny), and a strange picnic skit that has to be seen. this is still a very strange movie and it is easy to see why it went over the head of all those teeny-boppers when initially released. the concerts are fun to watch just for the mania that surrounded t.rex, it really is like the final scene of 'a hard days night'.

elvis costello - club date-live in memphis: i first saw elvis costello at 'jed's', a small club in uptown new orleans late 1977. it was a wild, chaotic show that drew all of the 200 punks in the city, (it was free!). it was the 1st tour with his soon-be-long-standing band, the attractions and elvis was still working on the edginess that would power the band during the next few years and lp's.

this dvd has all the power of the early days. elvis and the imposters, (steve nieve on keys and pete thomas on drums, holdovers from the attractions, along with newly added bassist davey faragher, who fits in very well), are unbelievably tight as they wheel around songs from every era of costello's long and productive career. the atmosphere of the little club in memphis is electric. from the opening assault of 'waiting for the end of the world' the set bobs and weaves around cuts from the album 'the delivery man', throwing in odd covers, (there's a blistering rendition of dave bartholomew's 'the monkey'), and a 5 song duet with emmylou harris that balances out everything nicely.
the real kicker here is the extras. the documentary 'off the beaten path' is an hour long trip with elvis, pete thomas and a hi-jacked pink caddie taxi from memphis into the mississippi delta. they hit all the legendary stops, tupelo, oxford and clarksdale, with elvis buying clothes and guitars in 2nd hand shops, and playing acoustic on the king biscuit radio show.
overall a very enjoyable trip with elvis exploring the roots . . . and the concert was good too!

the jimi hendrix experience - electric ladyland: i reluctantly bought this, thinking it would just be an overview of the album. imagine my surprise when this turned out to be one helluva documentary about the making of the landmark lp. all the regular suspects appear, jimi's engineer, eddie kramer, band members mitch mitchell and noel redding, manager and ex-animal chas chandler, jack cassidy, buddy miles and stevie winwood, who played on the album, very impressive. the film contains a lot of stuff that i had never seen or heard, old clips, remixes and photos. the joy of it is in the de-construction of each song. kramer is great as he flips the faders up and down on the console, explaining some of the high points of the lp. even noel redding is on board, sharing his home movies of the band on tour and memories of the recording, (he quit the band near the end of the sessions to form that no-hit wonder band, 'fat matress', remember them?).

for the money, this is one great deal. no extras, but the dvd itself is a goldmine for all hendrix fans, showing how influential and timeless his music will always be.

some other good rock dvd's out now . . .
eric clapton - sessions for robert j.
(eric's video ode to robert johnson, (a companion piece to his r.j. tribute cd's), with a killer band, including one billy preston on keys, and showing how the blues should be done)
the doors - live in europe:1968
(footage from the '68 tour with the jefferson airplane, many great moments with some scattershot commentary by grace slick and paul kanter, nice job this!)
crosby, stills and nash (and sometimes young) - long time coming
(excellent overview, and some wonderful old clips of the buffalo springfield and the byrds thrown in for good measure)

and here are some mp3s i ripped from the aforementioned dvd's (via yousendit for the next few days):

t.rex - jeepster (wembley 03-18-72 2nd show)

elvis costello and the imposters - waiting for the end of the world/radio radio (hi-tone club memphis 09-17-04)

the jimi hendrix experience - 1983 (alternative mix)
from the radio series 'the jimi hendrix story'